With cold and flu season upon us, here are some classic blunders to avoid when you write notes explaining your children’s absence from school:

“Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.”

“Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.”

“Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.”

“Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.”

“My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”

“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hips.”

“Maryann was absent December 11 – 16 because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat. Her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going around school, her father even got hot last night.”

“Please excuse my son’s tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not find him till I started making the beds.”